Yep, that’s right, I am one of those bitches that tried to sleep their way to the top only to end up with a guy in middle management. Let me tell you about middle management.
5 ways in which middle management (further to be called MM) different from you and I?
1. MM has no real power.
2. MM sets their own hours.
3. MM goes to 3 hour $100 a plate lunches.
4. MM gets to work from home.
5. MM can join in on any event.
My husband is a really good guy, but he is also a middle management blow hard. This man would take a bullet for me, but every time I hear him spout just a little of the corporate jargon bull$hit I want to punch a kitten.
My husband has no real power, but he gets to sit in on all the meeting with upper management while they make these changes, decisions, etc that effect all the little people (me) and gets to suck at the teat of upper managements fake breast of knowledge. Once MM gets done in these meetings they get to come back to all the people doing the grunt work of the company and explain these changes, most of these changes are shitty little changes that upper management has dreamed up to save a quarter for the company, meanwhile we the little people are getting almost no raises. What does upper management get for this quarter>>>that’s right, a 10% raise. What did I get for dealing with this stupid change that I got to explain to people 50 times a day, that’s right, perhaps a demotion since the change didn’t fit this years newly hatched design.
MM gets to give me a hard time about being late for work almost twice a week, my MM boss lives about a mile away from me and many many times we are stuck in traffic together. My MM boss is noticed by no one if she clocks in 15 minutes later, but me, I get to listen to her tell me that perhaps I should leave earlier>>>really, did you leave your house with over an hour to get here in order to make a 25 minute drive? Oh yeah, you did and got stuck in the same damn traffic that plagues our little hellhole 2 times a week. To add to this I get to listen to the MM hubby talk about how he wanted to get logged in earlier, that ass just needs to take his own car and perhaps not make the stop at the local burger king. One of these days I will have that shit MY WAY!
The 3 hour $100 lunch, guess what the little people get for the same award that week? Stale Nachos and the ability to wear a hat at work. Yes, thank you, I got to wear my own clothes and management got to feast for 3 hours on the company. Your welcome for all that work I did.
Ahh, MM gets to work from home, that’s right, if it wasn’t bad enough about making your own hours MM works from home when they want to…but lets not get confused, they do have to do shit during shitty hours…ONCE A YEAR! The hubby you ask, yea, like 2 times a week he is just too tired to get up and make the drive in, sick day you say? Hell no, work from home day!
On the super rare times when we the peasants get something good going on at work middle management can swoop down from their branches above and whore in on the fun…asses!
Next time I try to sleep my way to the top I better start with someone with a real title, and stock options, and a CEO after his name…its a good thing I love my MM blow hard.